February Song
by Linwe Elendil
Summary: Flashes of Bond and Vesper. Set during and after Casino Royale the movie. Major Spoilers! Songfic to February Song by Josh Groban.


Yet another songfic from yours truly! Sometimes I just can't help myself. Music and movies are my life, so it's very easy for me to put them together.

**Disclaimer:** Need I say it? I don't own Bond, I have never read the books (forgive me), and I just watched Casino Royale for the first time last night (again, forgive me). But Daniel Craig is the best Bond I have ever seen, and I just had to write something about him!

Oh, and I don't own Josh Groban's "February Song" either. I just think it fits perfectly with Bond and Vesper.

Rated T (just to be on the safe side – this is James Bond, after all). On a related note, can anyone tell me if "bugger" is a bad word?

* * *

**Where has that old friend gone**

**Lost in a February song**

**Tell him it won't be long**

'**Til he opens his eyes**

**Opens his eyes**

He was dying. He knew it. Everyone at Headquarters knew it, too. He could hear them arguing over what he should do next. Didn't the idiots realize that very soon he would be incapable of doing anything? He dutifully stabbed himself in the neck with whatever it was they told him to use – sincerely hoping he'd grabbed the right syringe.

A strange numbness was spreading through his body as his heart raced out of control. He could see Vesper sitting on the floor of the shower, shivering under the water. She was so scared, and yet still so beautiful. James noticed that he was shivering, too, and thought about asking someone to turn up the heat when he heard multiple cries in his ear; "Push the red button!"

He wished they would shut up.

Fumbling with the box in his hand, he remembered. He was about to die. Beyond care and feeling, James half-heartedly hit the button to the defibrillator. Nothing happened. _Oh, well_, he thought. _That's that. No big deal._ But as his mind turned again to Vesper, James suddenly realized that the red button was indeed very important, and began hitting it with more urgency. It was then that he noticed the dangling wire.

_Bugger._

His last thought before he passed out was how sorry he was that he hadn't gotten to know Vesper better. Or at least see her naked.

**Where is that simple day**

**Before colors broke into shades**

**And how did I ever fade**

**Into this life**

**Into this life**

James gasped as the electric charge ran through him, restarting his heart. For a moment, all he felt was agony. When the pain faded, he saw Vesper standing above him – an angel in black.

"Are you alright?" he asked, fighting a smile at her reaction. What more reason did he need to live?

**And I never want to let you down**

**Forgive me if I skip away**

**All that I've loved is lost and found**

**I promise you, I'll come back to you one day**

Life seemed to come in bursts lately. _I must have some kind of concussion_, James realized. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted with a smiling nurse holding poster-board signs. "You were in an accident," one read. "You are safe here," he was assured by the second. "Vesper's fine too," the third told him. Once his mind was secure in these facts, they offered him something to drink. He usually got out half of the ingredients to a "Vesper Martini" before passing out again.

Little did James know that he had run this same routine at least fifteen times a day for the last week. Sometimes the nurse would hold up a fourth poster, informing him that alcohol was not on the menu, but James could never figure out why she thought it was so funny…

There were times when he awoke to see his angel's face, though he could never quite remember why she was there. "Retrograde amnesia" someone would mutter, just before everything went black again.

It was on the morning they took away Mathis that everything began to clear. He had been tortured. Brutally. No wonder Vesper looked so concerned every time he saw her. She, at least, had recovered nicely – though from exactly what he was never told. But it didn't matter. When she was with him, he knew everything would be fine.

**Morning is waking up**

**And sometimes it's more than just enough**

**When all that you need to love**

**Is in front of your eyes**

**It's in front of your eyes**

After hitting "send" on his resignation, James looked up at the beautiful woman who piloted their boat. He and Vesper had both decided that Venice would be the perfect place to take their well earned rest. As James looked at the magnificent architecture around them, he fought back a laugh. Laughing was his tell, and he didn't want her to know that he had an engagement ring hidden in his luggage. Not yet, at least.

**And I never want to let you down**

**Forgive me if I skip away**

**Sometimes it's hard to find my ground**

**Cause I keep on falling as**

**I try to get away from this crazy world**

James watched, helpless, as Vesper pushed herself away from the elevator door. A pain that he had never known tore at his chest, over-powering the lancing agony from his lack of oxygen. She was giving up. With all the strength that he possessed, he pulled at the gate, desperate to save her. His mind was so focused on the task that he didn't even notice her choking as she screamed his name – the sound of it stolen by the merciless water. He freed Vesper from her prison and swam with all his might for the surface.

James checked her pulse and determinedly began CPR. She could not die! He wouldn't let her. All too soon, the pain began to set in, and he found himself exhausted. Rage boiled in his veins, until he looked once more at her face. She was so still; so beautiful. He fell over her, the tears beginning to flow. Grasping her to him, James wished for nothing more than to let the ocean cover them both.

But it was not his time to die. He silently cursed Vesper as she left him alone on the ruined building; weeping for her betrayal, for their stolen future, and for the wounds that would never heal.

**And I never want to let you down**

**Forgive me if I skip away**

**When all that I've loved is lost and found**

**I promise you, I'll come back to you one day**

M's words had stabbed him – though for a moment, their force had been blunted by the hardness of his heart. At least until he had searched Vesper's phone; finding her last clue to help him finish the job. He stared at the screen. "For James," it read.

Curious how the tears would not come. He began to fear that he would never feel anything again.

_So much for getting out with at least a part of my soul…_

He had nothing left now, anyway.

**Where is that old friend gone?**

**Lost in a February song**

**Tell him it won't be long**

**Till he opens his eyes**

**Opens his eyes**

James slid the clip into his gun, cocking one round into the chamber and checking that the silencer was secure.

He tucked the gun into his jacket and looked over his reflection in the mirror. As he thought of his next target – some meaningless face – her words haunted him once again.

"_It doesn't bother you; killing those people?"_

James grabbed the keys to his Aston Martin and strode from the hotel room.

"_I wouldn't be very good at my job if it did."_

* * *

Well? What do you think? How did I do? I've only seen the movie once, so I hope I got James' character right. He's do different from the other Bonds that I can't be sure!

James' memory problems when recovering in the hospital were taken from an actual experience of one of my friends. For about two days after being hit by a car, he would randomly blink and ask the same three questions again: "Where am I?" "What happened?" and "Is anyone else hurt?" We toyed with the idea of making signs, just so we wouldn't have to answer the same questions over and over again!

Anyway… please review!


End file.
